Archives for category: Uncategorized

Last week I shared William Arthur Ward’s Six Ethics for Life. Since then I came across Six Rules of Living that the late Rev. Billy Graham’s shared in his book, The Journey. I pass them on to you with my comments, not that my perspective is better or my manner of expression is superior.

MAKE IT YOUR GOAL TO LIVE AT PEACE WITH OTHERS

“As far as it is possible, live in peace with one another.” That was the advice given by the Apostle Paul centuries ago. Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount teaches that peacemakers are children of God.

Inspirational Image for Matthew 5:9

AVOID REVENGE

I have heard some folks say when they are wronged, “I don’t get over it; I get even.” Living by the law of retaliation is one way but it is not the best way. The end result of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” is that we will all be blind and toothless. Words of wisdom from the Bible offers an alternative:  “Turn away from evil and do good. Try to live in peace even if you must run after it to catch and hold it!” (I Peter 3:11 The Living Bible)

Before you embark on a journey of revenge dig two graves - ancient chinese philosopher confucius quote printed on burned wood board.

GUARD YOUR TONGUE

“It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell” (James 3:5-6, The Message). The tongue is a powerful tool for good or evil. Therefore we must be diligent with our speech.

Silence Talk Freedom Of Speech Woman Girl

NEVER REPAY EVIL WITH EVIL

Jesus instructed us to turn the other cheek. To “turn the other cheek” does not imply pacifism, nor does it mean we place ourselves or others in mortal danger (www.gotquestions.org). Rather it is an attitude that we must cultivate that chooses to return good for evil, love for hate, kindness for harshness, affirmation for insult.

One kind word can change someones entire day. Inspirational saying about love and kindness. Vector positive quote on colorful background with squared paper texture

TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU

“The concept occurs in some form in nearly every religion and ethical tradition and is often considered the central tenet of Christian ethics. It can also be explained from the perspectives of psychology, philosophy, sociology, human evolution, and economics” (Wikipedia).

ornate,text,design,decoration,old,symbol,art,outdoors

This is the Golden Rule. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? If everyone practiced this, there would be no need for laws and everyone would have a wonderful life. Obviously it is not so easy and does not happen automatically. Nevertheless it must remain one of our guiding principles.

 

PRACTICE THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness Is Not An Occasional Act, It Is A Constant Attitude

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. When you are the “victim” of someone’s imperfect action, attitude, or words, you don’t have to wait for them to ask to be forgiven. It is possible to forgive so spontaneously that you rob the knife of its cutting edge. Forgiveness does more for the “forgiver” than for the “forgiven.” We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered.

As I said last week, there is no simple formula for rich and full living but these six principles are a good start.

Jamie Jenkins

Advertisements

Recently I have run across a number of sources providing “ethics for living.” They offer different numbers and slightly different suggestions but all are basically the same. William Arthur Ward, one of America’s most quoted writers of inspirational maxims, offers six.

Merriam-Webster defines ethics as “a set of moral principles.” Among those principles that provide good guidance are the following.

  • LISTEN before you speak

text,illustration,card,label,vertical,business,celebration,desktop

It has been said that the reason we have two ears and one mouth is to remind us that listening is more important than speaking. Jane Blaufus, author, speaker and Catalyst for Courageous Conversations, says being “polished, poised, well spoken, or practiced” is important if a person is to be a successful public speaker. However, she says “one of the key skills I believe speakers need to master in order to be successful is to know how to listen effectively.”

The Bible offers this advice: “It is best to listen much, speak little, and not become angry” (James 1;19 TLB).  I have often heard the suggestion that when you listen, you earn the right to speak and be heard.

  •  EARN before you spend

Human beings are hardwired to want things and to want them now! This desire (demand) to experience pleasure or fulfillment without delay or deferment is powerful. Neil Patel, entrepreneur and online reminds us that “the ‘pleasure principle’ is basically the driving force that compels human beings to gratify their needs, wants, and urges. When we don’t get fulfillment, our psychological response is anxiety or tension.”

The desire to fulfill basic needs to breathe, eat, or drink can be essential and beneficial. But when the “need” is the latest gadget or some other cool new product, the result can be detrimental, not only emotionally but also financial.

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson advised “Never spend money before you earn it.”

Staffan Jacobs, writing in Catholic Stand, states, “Debt is the single biggest form of instant gratification in our society today. (And) the problem isn’t stagnant income, nor is it inflation and the rising cost of living. The problem is instant gratification and the attitude that ‘I can just pay for it later,’ which is basically the same as ‘I’d rather pay more than its actual value because I want it now and I don’t have the cash to pay for it now’.”

  • THINK before you act

business,sign,text,banner,symbol,illustration,label,commerce

Everyone has heard that it is wise to “look before you leap.” Spontaneity is a good thing but acting without thinking it through first can sometimes lead to unpleasant results. Jens Ludwig and Anuj Shah, University of Chicago: “Research has shown that most human behavior occurs intuitively and automatically, with little deliberate thought or consideration for long-term consequences or benefits.” 

Author Kamand Kojouri suggests that you should always ask yourself, “What will happen if I say nothing?” Or do nothing? John Wesley, a religious reformer of the 18th century and the founder of the Methodist movement, provided three simple rules to guide the lives of his followers. The first of these was: Do No Harm. Whether acting or refraining from action, it is wise to think first.

  • TRY before you quit

Nothing Is Over Until You Stop Trying

It has been said, “Think you can; think you can’t. Either way you will probably be right.” I think it is true quitters never win and winners never quit.

Recently I was visiting a 95 year-old woman in a rehab facility where she was recovering from a fall. She had been away from home and her normal routine for several weeks and the physical therapists were working her hard every day. I asked how she was responding to all of this and she said, “You have to keep on keeping on.”

  • BELIEVE before you pray

people,adult,hand,man,woman,art,human,religion

Jesus said, “When you pray and ask for something, believe that you have received it, and you will be given whatever you ask for” (Mark 11:24). One writer says that “believing takes the emphasis off of prayer itself, and puts the emphasis entirely on God Himself. It is all about God and God’s faithfulness. The Bible does not teach is to rely on prayer alone. It teaches us to rely on God.”

  • LIVE before you die

A couple of weeks ago I talked with my cousin, Carlton. He and his wife had just returned from a several months around the world cruise. He mentioned a friend who often was among those who travel with them.  He related how this friend recently told him of his travel plans for next year. And the next. And 2020. Oh, did I tell you- the friend is 101 years-old.

Frank Sinatra Painting Art Portrait Singer Music 32x24 Print Poster

Frank Sinatra sang, “I’m gonna live till I die! I’m gonna laugh ‘stead of cry. I’m gonna take the town and turn it upside down. I’m gonna live, live, live until I die.”

Jesus said, I came so that you can have real and eternal life, more and better life than you ever dreamed of” (John 10:10).

There is no simple formula for rich and full living but these six principles are a good start.

Jamie Jenkins

As soon as I hung up the phone I felt bad. I had been rude and wished I could apologize but I could not.

I usually do not answer the phone when the number is not one that I recognize but sometimes I am not sure. This number was familiar. I knew I had received calls from it before so I answered. I have learned that if there is a pause after I have said hello, then it is usually a robo-call and I hang up.

Robocall cartoons, Robocall cartoon, funny, Robocall picture, Robocall pictures, Robocall image, Robocall images, Robocall illustration, Robocall illustrations

Like everyone else I get my share of calls from telemarketers and folks taking surveys. The past few weeks there has been a massive number of calls related to the current political campaign. Now they use local numbers and call you by first name to disguise the purpose of the call. Also, I guess this helps to get by the “Do Not Call” list.

Anyway, when the phone rang this morning I answered and waited for the pause and the delayed request to speak to me. My response was not polite and I hung up. Immediately I realized this was a company with which I do business and the call was legitimate. I called back right away but the person who answered my call was not the one to whom I had spoken to rudely. Since it is a large company the person from the previous call could not be identified.

The person who called me was just doing her job and trying to be helpful to me. I spoke too quickly and rudely but it was not possible to offer her my apology. I was guilty of a harsh and inappropriate response to her call.

 Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck was right when she said, “Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.”

people,portrait,adult,art,woman,retro,face

Feeling guilty is not always healthy. I suspect that everyone has had someone “lay a guilt trip” on them making them feel bad unnecessarily. Ayn Rand offered words of wisdom when she said, “The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.” It is important to separate a “guilt trip” from appropriate feelings of regret for your actions.

illustration,vector,sketch,chalk out,monochrome,graphic,art,outline

Guilt can paralyze you or cause you to make necessary changes. It can be a warning sign to help you realize the need to change your behavior. This is “healthy” or “appropriate” guilt and it serves us well to pay attention. The rational purpose of this guilt is simply to try and convince you to change your behavior. 

John M. Grohol, Psy.D, says, “Guilt’s purpose isn’t to make us feel bad just for the sake of it. The feeling of guilt is trying to get our attention so that we can learn something from the experience. If we learn from our behavior, we’ll be less likely to do it again in the future.”

Dr. Grohol continues, “Guilt is one of those emotions that we feel is telling us something important. Be aware that not every emotion, and certainly not every guilty feeling, is a rational one that has a purpose. Focus on the guilt that causes loved ones or friends harm. And remember to be skeptical the next time you feel guilty – is it trying to teach you something rational and helpful about your behavior, or is it just an emotional, irrational response to a situation? The answer to that question will be your first step to helping you better cope with guilt in the future.”

Jamie Jenkins

I have been told that the only sense I have is my sense of humor. That being true, you can understand why I felt very much affirmed by Pope Francis this week.

Wim Wenders Picture

A documentary, Pope Francis- A Man and His of His Word, premiered this week. In this rare collaboration with the Vatican, award winning producer Wim Wenders offers an intimate glimpse at the spiritual leader.

Pope Francis - A Man of His Word

According to IMDb, the film “is intended to be a personal journey with Pope Francis, rather than a biographical documentary about him. The pope’s ideas and his message are central to this documentary, which sets out to present his work of reform and his answers to today’s global questions.”

Andrew Barker, writing in Variety Magazine, says “It’s difficult not to be charmed by Francis’ plainspoken demeanor, and his ability to retain the folksy conversational style of a simple parish priest even when speaking from the impossibly elevated confines of the Holy See. He has a surprising sense of humor.”

You might not expect the Pope to have a sense of humor. After all, he shoulders great responsibility as the spiritual leader of 1.2 billion Roman Catholics worldwide. The Pope is generally considered to be one of the world’s most powerful people because of his diplomatic and cultural influence.

Perhaps it is the weighty responsibility of being the spiritual and temporal head of the oldest continuing international organization in the world that demands a sense of humor in order to keep things in perspective.

Mahatma Gandhi

It really should not be surprising that the Pope would have a sense of humor. After all, many great and famous people have acknowledged that it is a necessity. Mahatma Gandhi said, “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.” The famous clergyman, social reformer, and speaker of the 19th century, Henry Ward Beecher, said “A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”

But how does Pope Francis maintain a sense of humor when confronted daily with such gigantic responsibilities? Pope Francis says that he prays to the English martyr St. Thomas More* daily. He prays to the saint for good humor, adding that a healthy dose of humor in our daily lives is very beneficial.

A View from the Porch

What does “a good sense of humor” actually mean? While there is a difference between being funny and having a sense of humor, both are important. Southern radio personality, Ludlow Porch said you are funny if you can tell a well-timed good joke. But a humorist, he said, was one who sees the funny and absurd side of life.

Thank you Pope Francis for claiming and endorsing the need for a good sense of humor.

Jamie Jenkins

*Prayer for Good Humor
by St. Thomas More

Grant me, O Lord, good digestion, and also something to digest.
Grant me a healthy body, and the necessary good humor to maintain it.
Grant me a simple soul that knows to treasure all that is good and that doesn’t frighten easily at the sight of evil, but rather finds the means to put things back in their place.
Give me a soul that knows not boredom, grumblings, sighs and laments, nor excess of stress, because of that obstructing thing called “I.”
Grant me, O Lord, a sense of good humor. Allow me the grace to be able to take a joke to discover in life a bit of joy, and to be able to share it with others.

 

Dating made easy. That’S what the sign said and offered a web address.

Man and Woman Sitting Together in Front of Table

It has been a long time since I was single and dating. And I am certainly no expert on the subject (just ask my wife). However, I do not remember it being “easy” and I imagine that it has probably become more complicated and nuanced since then.

stock photo of online dating - Illustration depicting a computer screen shot with a internet dating search concept - JPG

One online dating service recognizes that “you’re more substance than just a selfie” and it promises “to make meaningful connections with real people.” Another boasts that it has facilitated “more dates, more relationships, & more marriages than any other dating or personals site.” I have no first-hand experience with an online dating site so I do not argue with their claims and they may provide a much needed service. But I cannot believe that they can make dating easy.

In a recent Psychology Today article Dr. Robert J. Maurer does not suggest that dating can be made easy but he says it can be made simple. He says he has found that there is “only one essential predictor of future relationship health. (And) It is not the criteria people usually look for: shared interests, the same religion, similar incomes.” No, he suggests that you ask one “cliché question:” So, how come someone as wonderful as you is still single?”

The idea, according to Dr. Maurer, is “your date will hopefully hear this question as a compliment” but you can learn a lot about them from their answer.

Dating is not the only complicated life experience to which we often seek short cuts and easy answers. Take shopping for instance. You are in the market for an automobile and there are so many choices. Body style, color, optional equipment, gasoline engine or hybrid or electric- and a multitude of other things about which you have to decide. Wouldn’t it be easy if the auto makers offered only one make and model, one color, and no optional equipment?

Restaurant cafe menu, template design. royalty-free restaurant cafe menu template design stock vector art & more images of menu

When you eat out do you have difficulty with the menu? So many choices. Wouldn’t dining out be easy if there was only one entre on the menu? No daily specials. No choice of how you want your steak or burger prepared.

Street, Stock, City, Shopping, Travel, Times Square

Entertainment would be easy if there was only one theater in town playing only one movie. One home town sport/team to cheer. One television channel to watch.

Life in general can be very complicated. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everything was clearly right or wrong. No alternatives. Every decision had only one option. There were no forks in the road.

Obviously easy is not always better. While it might not matter what car we drive or how we entertain ourselves, there are choices that really make a difference.

stock photo of choice - Taking decisions for the future man standing with three direction arrow choices - JPG

I wish life to be more manageable- and it can be but there is no silver bullet or magical answer. I believe there are some absolutes in life. Everything is not up for grabs. On the other hand many, maybe most of the vital choices, are not always clear.

So how do we make good choices in the things that really matter? I believe that we are not alone in our efforts to choose and live wisely. God is with us to guide and guard us in life. “Anyone who needs wisdom should ask God. Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask.” (James 1:5, Common English Bible). When we are not sure, “God will show how to distinguish right from wrong, how to find the right decision every time.” (Proverbs 2:9, Living Bible)

Life cannot be made easy but if we “trust God from the bottom of our heart (and) don’t try to figure out everything on our own” life can be better. If we “listen for God’s voice in everything we do, everywhere we go- God will keep us on (the right) track.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Jamie Jenkins

 

love,romance,illustration,woman,graphic design,business,man,isolated

Dating made easy. That’s what the sign said and offered a web address.

Man and Woman Sitting Together in Front of Table

It has been a long time since I was single and dating. And I am certainly no expert on the subject (Just ask my wife). However, I do not remember it being “easy” and I imagine that it has become more complicated and nuanced since then.

Midsection of Couple Holding Hands at Beach Against Sky

One online dating service recognizes that “you’re more substance than just a selfie” and it promises “to make meaningful connections with real people.” Another boasts that it has facilitated “more dates, more relationships, & more marriages than any other dating or personals site.” I have no first-hand experience with an online dating site so I do not argue with their claims and they may provide a much needed service. But I cannot believe that they can make dating easy.

Photo of Robert J Maurer

In a recent Psychology Today article Dr. Robert J. Maurer does not suggest that dating can be made easy but he says it can be made simple. He says he has found that there is “only one essential predictor of future relationship health. (And) It is not the criteria people usually look for: shared interests, the same religion, similar incomes.” No, he suggests that you ask one “cliché question:” So, how come someone as wonderful as you is still single?”

The idea, according to Dr. Maurer, is “your date will hopefully hear this question as a compliment” but you can learn a lot about them from their answer.

used car signs

Dating is not the only complicated life experience to which we often seek short cuts and easy answers. Take shopping for instance. You are in the market for an automobile and there are so many choices. Body style, color, optional equipment, gasoline engine or hybrid or electric- and a multitude of other things about which you have to decide. Wouldn’t it be easy if the auto makers offered only one make and model, one color, and no optional equipment?

menu as inspiration. See the grid

When you eat out do you have difficulty with the menu? So many choices. Wouldn’t dining out be easy if there was only one entre on the menu? No daily specials. No choice of how you want your steak or burger prepared.

Entertainment would be easy if there was only one theater in town playing only one movie. One home town sport/team to cheer. One television channel to watch.

movie theater, Canada

Life in general can be very complicated. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everything was clearly right or wrong. No alternatives. Every decision had only one option. There were no forks in the road.

Obviously easy is not always better. While it might not matter what car we drive or how we entertain ourselves, there are choices that really make a difference.

I wish life could be more manageable- and it can be but there is no silver bullet or magical answer. I believe there are some absolutes in life. Everything is not up for grabs. On the other hand many, maybe most of the vital choices, are not always clear.

stock photo of choice - Taking decisions for the future man standing with three direction arrow choices - JPG

So how do we make good choices in the things that really matter? I believe that we are not alone in our efforts to choose and live wisely. God is with us to guide and guard us in life. “Anyone who needs wisdom should ask God. Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask.” (James 1:5, Common English Bible). When we are not sure, “God will show how to distinguish right from wrong, how to find the right decision every time.” (Proverbs 2:9, Living Bible)

Life cannot be made easy but if we “trust God from the bottom of our heart (and) don’t try to figure out everything on our own” life can be better. If we “listen for God’s voice in everything we do, everywhere we go- God will keep us on (the right) track.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Jamie Jenkins

“I have been through a lot in my life,” he said. Then the young man talked about the health issues he had experienced in his soon to be twenty-four years. He had surgery to remove a brain tumor and then he was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer.

The survival rate for children who had this type of cancer was 40-70%. The prognosis for people over 18 was not nearly as good- less than 15%. Over the past 30 years there were less than 500 cases of adults with this form of cancer in the United States and the United Kingdom.

The cancer began in his lungs and then spread to the bone in his left arm. Chemotherapy and radiation reduced the size of the tumor. Then surgery removed the rotator cuff and the deltoid, the muscle forming the rounded contour of the human shoulder. He said the upper four inches of his left arm were “metal bone.” Two and a half weeks ago he was declared cancer free. “In reality I am a dead man walking,” he remarked.

As I listened I was struck with this young man’s attitude. There was no hint of bitterness or anger. No whining. Just a deep sense of gratitude for the knowledge and compassionate care of the medical personnel that treated him.

stock photo of medical personnel - portrait of successful medical team - JPG

Harry Emerson Fosdick said, “It is not what life brings to us in its hand but what we bring to it in our spirit that makes the difference.” This twenty-something man exhibited the kind of attitude that I wish was present in more people. He was an exceptional example that adversity does not have to make us bitter. If we respond as he has, difficulty can make us better.

Positive Attitude

Later in the same day that I overheard the aforementioned comments I visited two people in a rehab facility recovering from a fall. They were both decades older than the young fellow who had “been through a lot.” Because of their injuries their lives had taken a dramatic turn but they too had a hopeful and cheerful attitude and were doing what was needed to recover.

Cross that bridge

The Apostle Paul’s instructions were to “give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you.” I don’t believe he was suggesting that facing difficult times was what God wanted for you. Rather he was trying to help us realize that the only disability in life is a bad attitude and folks want to be around other folks who maintain a positive outlook.

Jesus said, “In the world you have trouble. But be encouraged! I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33)

Tom Stoppard reminds us that after all is said and done, “A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”

Jamie Jenkins

 

Coca Cola Company Classic Logo

If you grew up in the southern part of the United States you know that Coke is a cold carbonated beverage that comes in many flavors. If you are from any other part of the world Coke may have a different meaning.

plastic,isolated,paper,isolate,achievement,vertical,container,business

Everyone knows that Kleenex is any brand of facial tissue but technically it is a registered trademark of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. Who does not understand that Jello is any gelatin dessert. These are two examples of many product names that, due to their popularity, have become the generic name for a general class of product. Other examples of trademark registered names that are viewed similarly are Thermos, ChapStick, Dumpster, Band-Aid, and Velcro.

The origin of product, place, and commodity names is often lost. People just repeat and accept them without any thought.

Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter Boulevard is named after a former Governor of Georgia and President of the United States. Martin Luther King Boulevard reminds most of the current populace of the Civil Rights leader who modeled Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy of non-violent resistance. But will people who travel those roadways a hundred years from now give any thought to the persons for which they are named?

I live about a mile from where Medlock Bridge Road and East Jones Bridge Road intersect. Does anyone ever ask who these people were after which their roadways are named? Where were the bridges? What stream or chasm did they cross? My house is just off Bush Road. Most folks have no clue that one of the original Bush families lives in the 1950s ranch style house at the entrance to the subdivision.

Los Angeles  - The Utah Jazz played with a heavy heart then took the court and showed the love for...

Sports fans may support their favorite teams with great enthusiasm but do they know or care about their team names? How did the Major League Baseball Team in Cincinnati come to be called the Reds? An NBA team in Utah named the Jazz?

 

 

 

Why are there buildings that sport names like Quicken Loans Arena and Sun Trust Park but you don’t go there to get a loan or conduct your banking business?

 

Certain images and memories come to mind when you hear some names. Rockefeller and Carnegie project images of wealth. You think baseball and home runs when you hear the names Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron. What would golf be without Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer? Michael Jordan is synonymous with Michael Jordan. Football without Vince Lombardi?

You cannot discuss great music without the names of Mozart and Bach being a part of the conversation. Alexander the Great and Napoleon will forever be remembered as great conquerors. Martin Luther and John Wesley made their mark in history as religious reformers.

Blessings are not just found in hearing the word of God but also applying it to your life. (James 1:22) #NotOfThisWorld

Centuries ago followers of Jesus were called Christian because of their devotion to the One they believed was Unique and they patterned their lives after Him. I wonder what the name “Christian” means in today’s world.

Jamie Jenkins

Can we agree to disagree? That is the question posed by Gracie Bond Staples in the Atlanta Journal Constitution last week. Quoting Wes Parham, and organizational analyst, she suggested that the “hater mindset… (is) taking hold of the country, creating virtual echo chambers that confirm our biases rather than challenge them.” This way of thinking prefers “to dismiss any views that are contrary to their own.”

Gracie Bonds Staples, KIRO 7

Staples said, and I agree, that “simply having an opposing view is not the issue. The issue is when we view people with opposite views as the enemy.” Parham goes on to say when we disagree the tendency is to think “you are not like us, and because you’re not like us, I don’t have to treat you with civility and respect.”

Staples writes from the perspective of a practicing Christian. I do not know about Parham’s religious beliefs but both exhibit a kindred spirit with John Wesley, the social and religious reformer of the 18th century. In his sermon on “A Catholic Spirit” (1755), the Anglican priest and father of the Methodist Movement asserted that “love is due to all mankind.” In his Christian understanding that means that we are supposed to love all people because Jesus instructed his followers not only to love those who thought and acted like you but to “love your enemies, bless those cursing you, do good to those hating you, and pray for those accusing you falsely, and persecuting you” (Matthew 5:43).

Wesley goes further to say, “Although every man necessarily believes that every particular opinion which he holds is true (for to believe any opinion is not true, is the same thing as not to hold it), yet can no man be assured that all his own opinions, taken together, are true. To be ignorant of many things, and to mistake in some, is the necessary condition of humanity.”

Wesley continues, “Every wise man, therefore, will allow others the same liberty of thinking that he desires they should allow him, and will no more insist on their embracing his opinions than he would have them to insist on his embracing theirs. He is patient with those who differ from him, and only asks him:  ‘Is your heart right, as my heart is with your heart?’ If it be, give me your hand.”

This does not necessarily mean that either person would change their opinion. Wesley explains, “Keep your opinion and I will keep mine, and that as steadily as ever. You need not even endeavor to come over to me, or bring me over to you. I do not desire you to dispute those points, or to hear or speak one word concerning them. Leave all opinions alone on one side and the other: only give me your hand.”

Believing that love is more powerful than anything else, let us seek to maintain a spirit of civility and a respect for all human beings regardless of our differing opinions. God help us!

Jamie Jenkins

I had a fall a few months ago and injured my shoulder. I tore the rotator cuff, a group of muscles and their tendons act to stabilize the shoulder. This type of injury is fairly common occurring most often in people who repeatedly perform overhead motions in their jobs or sports.

An illustration of the shoulder joint and tendons.

The risk of rotator cuff injury also increases with age. Aging and a hard fall combined to cause my injury. Sometimes physical therapy solves the problem but some cuff tears require surgical repair.

A woman slips and falls on ice.

My injury required surgery after which I was given a sling to stabilize and support my arm. The surgeon told me in a follow up visit a few weeks later that I did not have to wear the sling all the time and he did not want my arm to be “glued to my side.” In other words, I was to move the injured arm as much as possible to prevent the shoulder from freezing up. I understood what the doctor said but it was extremely painful to do move that arm.

The surgeon and many people who have had rotator cuff surgery told me that recovery would take a long time and it would be hard. They are correct. Yesterday marked 4 months since surgery and 3 months since I began physical therapy. Things are better but I have still have a good way to go for full recovery.

One day during a physical therapy I heard one of the therapists tell another patient that “You have re-program your brain.” I am learning that is a very big part of recovery.

When we are injured, physically or emotionally, our brain signals us to protect ourselves. It is difficult to deal with the pain and easy to avoid it. If it hurts to move the shoulder, my brain tells me to keep it stationary. If is it painful to acknowledge words or actions that hurt me, it is easy to deny or try to forget. But things won’t get better if we avoid the issue.

Surgery and hard exercises are helping me to recover from a rotator cuff injury. Something similar also helps to overcome emotional injuries. All of our experiences and the feelings that accompanied the experiences are stored in our brain. Memories of painful experiences are tough to deal with but facing them honestly is the first step in overcoming their paralyzing grip.

Mike Robinson* says, “Many people bury the memories of wounds and injuries caused by negative words, actions and attitudes rather than face the pain. In doing so, they also bury the possibility of healing.” A long time ago I discovered a book by David Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions, that was very helpful to me in dealing with painful memories. Robinson and Seamands both offer counsel to help heal emotional hurts that are every bit as real as physical injury.

 

It would have been foolish of me to deny that my shoulder hurt and refuse medical solutions. It is equally valid to seek spiritual help for emotional pain. We are physical, emotional, and spiritual beings. God wants us to be healthy in all three aspects of our life.

Jamie Jenkins

(http://www.barnabasnetwork.com/emotional_healing_2)