Archives for posts with tag: ATTITUDE

I heard someone recently say, “Getting old is not for sissies.” They were referring to the increased aches and pains that are a normal part of the aging process. The moving parts of our bodies tend to show effects of the wear and tear of years.

Advancing years may bring with it some new realities. Days turn into weeks and weeks become months which lead to years and decades. The mileage of all that time can take a toll on the physical body and on the mind.

If one is not careful, growing old can be negative. Fretting over the things that are not like they used to be can cripple our thinking. If unchecked, focusing on the things that are lost, or at least diminished, is an unhealthy practice and will dampen our enthusiasm for the life that remains.

Time marches on and so can we even when the years pile up. But we do not have to grow “old.”  Growing old is a simple matter of chronology. Growing “older” is an attitude- a state of mind. Rather than focusing on the limitations and often failing health of advancing years, we can embrace the new realities and recognize the advantages.

Andy Rooney was an American radio and television writer who was best known for his weekly broadcast “A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney”, a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired on October 2, 2011. He died one month later on November 4, 2011 at age 92.

Rooney said, “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” A prayer of Moses in the Bible (Psalm 90) extols the eternity of God and the transitory nature of humanity. He observes that “We live for seventy years or so (with luck we might make it to eighty), and what do we have to show for it? Trouble. Toil and trouble and a marker in the graveyard.” Then he asks God to “Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!” (Psalm 90:10-12, The Message).

We have a choice as we age. We can resent the loss of our youthfulness or we can choose to maximize the benefits of our years of experience. Academy Award winning actress Sophia Loren suggests, “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

Larry Minnix retired after many years in mental health and aging care professions. In his recently published book, “Hallowed Ground- Stories of Successful Aging,” he offers twelve secrets to aging well. One of the secrets is to “cultivate an attitude of perseverance.” He says that as you age you can adopt one of three attitudes. One approach to life is to see yourself as a Victim focusing on disease, decline, and dependency. A second possibility is to be a Denier and surround yourself with artificial trappings and practice avoidance. The best alternative suggested by Minnix is one of perseverance where one accepts aging and adaptations needed to make the most of it. Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie, agrees with Dr. Minnix and counsels us to simply “embrace aging.”

Hallowed Ground: Stories of Successful Aging

Job is a wealthy man in the Bible who is said to be “blameless” and “upright,” always careful to avoid doing evil.  Nevertheless he suffers incredibly horrible circumstances. Three of his friends come to visit him. After several days with him they share their thoughts on his afflictions in long, poetic statements. After one of them has given his take on things, Job replies, “As you say, older men like me are wise. They understand. But true wisdom and power are God’s. He alone knows what we should do; He understands” (Job 12:12-13)

I agree with those who encourage us to live life fully (at all ages) and recognize with Job that following God’s guidance in those years is the key to a life of fulfillment and contentment.

Jamie Jenkins

Last week I shared William Arthur Ward’s Six Ethics for Life. Since then I came across Six Rules of Living that the late Rev. Billy Graham’s shared in his book, The Journey. I pass them on to you with my comments, not that my perspective is better or my manner of expression is superior.

MAKE IT YOUR GOAL TO LIVE AT PEACE WITH OTHERS

“As far as it is possible, live in peace with one another.” That was the advice given by the Apostle Paul centuries ago. Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount teaches that peacemakers are children of God.

Inspirational Image for Matthew 5:9

AVOID REVENGE

I have heard some folks say when they are wronged, “I don’t get over it; I get even.” Living by the law of retaliation is one way but it is not the best way. The end result of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” is that we will all be blind and toothless. Words of wisdom from the Bible offers an alternative:  “Turn away from evil and do good. Try to live in peace even if you must run after it to catch and hold it!” (I Peter 3:11 The Living Bible)

Before you embark on a journey of revenge dig two graves - ancient chinese philosopher confucius quote printed on burned wood board.

GUARD YOUR TONGUE

“It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell” (James 3:5-6, The Message). The tongue is a powerful tool for good or evil. Therefore we must be diligent with our speech.

Silence Talk Freedom Of Speech Woman Girl

NEVER REPAY EVIL WITH EVIL

Jesus instructed us to turn the other cheek. To “turn the other cheek” does not imply pacifism, nor does it mean we place ourselves or others in mortal danger (www.gotquestions.org). Rather it is an attitude that we must cultivate that chooses to return good for evil, love for hate, kindness for harshness, affirmation for insult.

One kind word can change someones entire day. Inspirational saying about love and kindness. Vector positive quote on colorful background with squared paper texture

TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU

“The concept occurs in some form in nearly every religion and ethical tradition and is often considered the central tenet of Christian ethics. It can also be explained from the perspectives of psychology, philosophy, sociology, human evolution, and economics” (Wikipedia).

ornate,text,design,decoration,old,symbol,art,outdoors

This is the Golden Rule. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? If everyone practiced this, there would be no need for laws and everyone would have a wonderful life. Obviously it is not so easy and does not happen automatically. Nevertheless it must remain one of our guiding principles.

 

PRACTICE THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness Is Not An Occasional Act, It Is A Constant Attitude

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. When you are the “victim” of someone’s imperfect action, attitude, or words, you don’t have to wait for them to ask to be forgiven. It is possible to forgive so spontaneously that you rob the knife of its cutting edge. Forgiveness does more for the “forgiver” than for the “forgiven.” We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered.

As I said last week, there is no simple formula for rich and full living but these six principles are a good start.

Jamie Jenkins

“I have been through a lot in my life,” he said. Then the young man talked about the health issues he had experienced in his soon to be twenty-four years. He had surgery to remove a brain tumor and then he was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer.

The survival rate for children who had this type of cancer was 40-70%. The prognosis for people over 18 was not nearly as good- less than 15%. Over the past 30 years there were less than 500 cases of adults with this form of cancer in the United States and the United Kingdom.

The cancer began in his lungs and then spread to the bone in his left arm. Chemotherapy and radiation reduced the size of the tumor. Then surgery removed the rotator cuff and the deltoid, the muscle forming the rounded contour of the human shoulder. He said the upper four inches of his left arm were “metal bone.” Two and a half weeks ago he was declared cancer free. “In reality I am a dead man walking,” he remarked.

As I listened I was struck with this young man’s attitude. There was no hint of bitterness or anger. No whining. Just a deep sense of gratitude for the knowledge and compassionate care of the medical personnel that treated him.

stock photo of medical personnel - portrait of successful medical team - JPG

Harry Emerson Fosdick said, “It is not what life brings to us in its hand but what we bring to it in our spirit that makes the difference.” This twenty-something man exhibited the kind of attitude that I wish was present in more people. He was an exceptional example that adversity does not have to make us bitter. If we respond as he has, difficulty can make us better.

Positive Attitude

Later in the same day that I overheard the aforementioned comments I visited two people in a rehab facility recovering from a fall. They were both decades older than the young fellow who had “been through a lot.” Because of their injuries their lives had taken a dramatic turn but they too had a hopeful and cheerful attitude and were doing what was needed to recover.

Cross that bridge

The Apostle Paul’s instructions were to “give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you.” I don’t believe he was suggesting that facing difficult times was what God wanted for you. Rather he was trying to help us realize that the only disability in life is a bad attitude and folks want to be around other folks who maintain a positive outlook.

Jesus said, “In the world you have trouble. But be encouraged! I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33)

Tom Stoppard reminds us that after all is said and done, “A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”

Jamie Jenkins

Dinah Washington won a Grammy Award in 1959 for Best Rhythm and Blues Performance with a song entitled What a Difference a Day Makes.  It was originally written in Spanish by Maria Grever. The English lyrics were written by Stanley Adams in 1934. The most successful early recording, in 1934, was by the Dorsey Brothers, although it was first recorded in English by Cleveland crooner Jimmie Ague.(http://www.songswithearlierhistories.com/what-a-difference-a-day-makes/)

What a Difference a Day Makes

In the song things changed dramatically in a twenty-four hour period. Lonely nights and dreary days are transformed into sunshine and flowers. A rainbow appears where once there were stormy skies. According to the song, all of this changes “Since that moment of bliss that thrilling kiss.” Romance!

Aileen Quinn in Annie (1982)

The idea of drastic and instant positive change is also sounded in the song Tomorrow from the Broadway musical production of Annie. The title character lives in a miserable orphanage run by the terrible Miss Hannigan. But good fortune comes Annie’s way when she is given the opportunity to spend the Christmas holidays in the home of billionaire Oliver Warbucks. Annie repeatedly sings “Just thinkin’ about, tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, till’ there’s none.” The song pronounces an optimistic view of life as she continues, “When I’m stuck with a day that’s grey and lonely, I just stick out my chin, and grin, and say, ‘Oh, the sun’ll come out tomorrow so you gotta’ hang on till’ tomorrow come what may.”

It is true that things can change dramatically overnight, or in the blink of an eye. Adversity can be overcome. Failure can become success. Defeat can be transformed into victory.

But all change that comes quickly is not positive. Health can deteriorate. Fortunes can be lost. Relationships are destroyed. Lives can be snuffed out. In an instant!

It is important to maintain a positive attitude. But things do not always work out like we hoped and planned. When positive thinking comes up short, when the difference a day makes is devastating, what do you do? Where do you turn?

Wisdom of the ages suggests that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present[a]help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). David, the King of ancient Israel gives good advice: The Lord is my solid rock, my fortress, my rescuer. My God is my rock. I take refuge in him! He is my shield, my salvation’s strength, my place of safety” (Psalm 18:2).

Jamie Jenkins

I grew up on the Gulf Coast in Mobile, Alabama. Except for five years in New York, I have lived my life in the Deep South. I have always enjoyed sports and in my environment that meant baseball, football, basketball, and tennis. Because of the temperate climate in the region ice hockey has not been high on my lists of competitive sports.

Atlanta Flames 1972-73 hockey logo

I saw my first live hockey game in the early 1970s at the Omni in Atlanta. The Atlanta Flames were a professional team of the National Hockey League (NHL) from 1972-1980. The team struggled to establish a fan base and were finally sold and relocated to Alberta, Canada.

NEW OLD STOCK CCM ATLANTA THRASHERS HOCKEY JERSEY JR L / XL NHL LICENSED

The Atlanta area’s growth and the migration of many people from the northern states led to a second NHL franchise being located in the city in 1997. The Thrashers played their home games in Phillips Arena, which had replaced the Omni as a downtown sports venue. I attended one of the team’s games before they met a similar fate as the Flames. They were and moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada in 2011.

Eight years before the Thrashers moved out of town a minor league hockey team relocated to the Atlanta area.  The franchise originated as the Mobile Mysticks but were rebranded as the Gladiators and moved to their new home in suburban Gwinnett County. In 2015, the Gladiators became the affiliate of the Boston BruinS, an NHL Team since 1924.

My two sons, my grandson, and I recently attended a couple of the Gladiators games at the Infinite Energy Arena. We knew none of the players on the Gladiators or their opponent the Florida Everblades. Prior to this, collectively the four of us had attended only a handful of games. It was a first-time experience for my grandson.

Gladiators Hockey Game Dec 2018

None of us had any real attachment to the team or much knowledge about the rules or how the game is played. Nevertheless we joined in cheering our hometown team. When something good happened for the Gladiators we shouted and applauded. When the referee called a penalty against “our” team, we booed. When the same call was made against the other team, we shouted our approval.

Hockey fans at stadium : Stock Photo

I have reflected on the experience of those two hockey games over the past few weeks. I have thought about the way we claimed the home team and was pleased when things didn’t go well for their opponents. We could have just enjoyed the game. The skating ability of the players. The speed of the game. The energy of the teams and the fans. We had no connection to the home team except that they were the Atlanta Gladiators. They represented us and the match was between “us” and “them.”

I wonder how many times the scenario of the hockey game is repeated in other facets of my life. How often do I see things as competition between “Us” and “Them?” Do I view the attitudes and actions of myself and others like me as “right and good” and those of others as “harmful and wrong.”

In examining my behavior at the hockey game I realized how easy it is to “see the splinter that’s in my brother’s or sister’s eye, but don’t notice the log in my own eye.” How easy it is to say to another person,” Let me take the splinter out of your eye,’ when there’s a log in my own eye.”

God, help me to guard against the “US vs. Them” mindset. Help me to see others as my brothers and sisters, creatures of equality and deserving of honor and dignity.

Jamie Jenkins

I received an email with the subject: “First and Final Notice.” It seemed both ominous and inconsiderate. Why would you notify me of something only one time? If I needed to take some action, should I not be allowed more than one chance? At least you would think I could have the opportunity to discuss the matter if I disagreed with the sending party.

Last chance 1

I thought, “Hey, cut me some slack.” If I need to do something, I will do it but don’t slam the door on me if additional communication would be helpful.

“First and Final Notice” is woefully lacking in “grace” as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving.” Kindness. Common courtesy.

Philosophically and theologically speaking, grace is getting what you don’t deserve. It is unlike justice (getting what you deserve) which we often expect for others or mercy (not getting what you deserve) which seems to be the “right” thing for us. Maybe I should not have expected leniency (grace) but the ultimatum seemed like harsh justice.

Grace 1

Maybe I am just like the child whose parent is constantly saying, “I am not going to tell you again.” After hearing that false promise so many times, I begin to expect to be given another chance. No second chance seems so unreasonable. Unfair.

Last chance 2

I understand that sometimes an ultimatum is necessary. However, an ultimatum is generally the final demand in a series of requests. Quite the opposite of “first and final notice.”

I wonder how often I communicate “first and final” by my attitude. Unbending. Absolute. No other options. Not open to discussion. I hope my demeanor is very much in contrast to that closed-minded and harsh approach.

I am not suggesting that anything goes. I do not believe that everything is negotiable. There are principles upon which my life is based. There are some absolutes. There are some things that are “right” and “wrong” but I have learned that things are not “black or white” as often as I once thought they were.

Grace 7

Although there are instances when we need to stand our ground, the world would be a better place if “grace” were offered more often. I think that is how God relates to us. We are accountable for our attitudes and actions but God offers forgiveness and reconciliation generously. We would do well to do likewise.

Jamie Jenkins

PATIENCE 2

I am writing this from the airport in Newark, New Jersey. I arrived here about four hours ago from Tel Aviv. The uneventful flight landed right on time and I slept for several hours on the 12 hour flight, which is unusual for me. This trip began two weeks ago with the cancellation of my outbound flight from Atlanta due to what the media called a historical winter storm.

Processing through passport control and customs went smoothly this morning and I was told that I needed to re-check my bag to Atlanta. I was then directed to the Transfer Desk where I learned that my flight had been cancelled due to freezing rain. I was re-booked on a flight that departed five and a half hours later. Just what you want to hear after being up 24 hours.
PATIENCE 1
I am not a good wait-er and I am not always flexible but I tried to take it in stride. After all as the ticket agent said, “We can’t control Mother Nature.” Even if we could I am glad that we are not in control of the weather. As bad as things may be at times, I am sure it would be much worse if we decided when the rain or snow came and if we managed the temperature and climate. What a mess that would be.

So I settled into the “comfortable” environments of the Newark Liberty Airport.

I am sure I do not fully understand the axiom “tribulation works patience” but I doubt that it was intended for situations like my interrupted travel. Whatever the situation, when things don’t go like we planned, the results may be unpleasant or painful but often the unexpected changes result in a wonderful experience.

PATIENCE 4

Unexpected circumstances often provide excellent opportunities to develop and practice patience.  And “patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next” (Romans 5:3, MSG).
Life is not always orderly and predictable. Our path is often through hills and valleys with curves and rough places at times. Detours occur and we may not reach our intended destination on time or not at all. Through it all we have the opportunity to learn and grow. After all, life is more about the journey than the destination. God help us to relax and enjoy the ride.

PATIENCE 5

Jamie Jenkins