Archives for posts with tag: vows

Love Is A Game That Two Can Play And Both WinWinston Churchill and I have something in common. We both believe that our most brilliant achievement was our ability to persuade our wives to marry us. There is nothing else that I have ever done that comes close to it.

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After forty-eight years of marriage to the same woman I can attest to the inestimable value of a life partner who loves you and supports you through good times and bad times. One who lives out the vows to love, honor and cherish. For better or worse. Richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. I also understand that having a good marriage requires a lot of patience and effort on the part of both persons.

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Recently I saw a billboard that offered to help folks who wanted to “Undo the I Do.” There is no question that marriages can grow stagnant. Relationships can become strained. One or both parties may stray from their marital vows. With our human frailties and limitations, divorce sometimes may be the best alternative.

Every marriage has its ups and downs. Marriages that seem to be “made in heaven” often have to “live through hell” before they survive. Yet, in spite of everything, sometimes divorce might be the best choice. Marriage litigation experts can be helpful but I hope that everyone will try to “re-do” the “I do” before coming to the decision to make the marriage null and void.

Falling In Love

Mignon McLaughlin suggests that “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”  Falling in love may be easy but staying in love is an ongoing exercise.

Marriage therapy, communication, relationship advice:

There are many keys to a successful marriage. “Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have” (Gordon B. Hinckley).

Sometimes maintaining marriage vows is depicted as a burden and a duty. Although it is a responsibility to be taken seriously, I do not see it as bondage. Instead I believe it is a privilege that provides rich rewards.

Happiness in marriage is doing little things for each other repeatedly. Common courtesies and kind deeds that are present before marriage continue in daily life. It has been said (humorously I hope) that when a man opens the car door for his wife it is either a new car or a new wife. While I understand that customs have changed and women certainly are not “the weaker sex,” little gestures of courtesy are still important in a marriage relationship. Each “serves” the other with gratitude. These “little” acts of affection make up the hundreds of tiny threads that bind marriage partners to each other.

The illusion that everything will just turn out magically without having to communicate thoughts, feelings, and needs in a relationship is an immaturity that will make true connection impossible.:

Another key to a healthy and happy marriage is the recognition that each person in the relationship is unique and it is not necessary that both persons thinks alike and share all the same interests and skills. Ogden Nash said, “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.” That is to say it is a good thing when each one brings something different to the relationship and those differences are seen as complementary rather than competitive.

I am no expert on marriage and I have made many mistakes in my relationship with my wife. I am extremely grateful for God’s grace that has been extended to us as we have worked together to make our marriage as healthy and happy as possible. I realize what Franz Schubert said is true. “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

Jamie Jenkins

The second most important day of my life was December 28, 1968.* That was the day Lena and I exchanged wedding vows. Yesterday we celebrated 48 years of marriage.  She is a gift from God to me for which I am most grateful.

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It has been over 50 years since Lena and I first met. We have loved each other for more than a half century. WOW! It is amazing how love has grown over those years. We have very different personalities and talents but have learned to appreciate and complement each other. And we are still learning. With God’s help we have grown together and that process is ongoing.

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God has been so good to us since the day we pledged our lives together in that little church on Stone Street in Mobile, Alabama. “For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish till death us do part.” We have had our struggles and trials but our lives have been blessed since we loaded everything we had into that 1965 Chevrolet Impala and headed to New York.

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Lena and I have three adult children. In spite of the struggles of the early years of marriage and parenting, they have grown to be wonderful adults. Each of them has wisely chosen life partners. They and our two grandchildren are priceless treasures.

Lena has sacrificed a lot as she has accompanied me on our journey from Alabama to New York, Tennessee, and Georgia. She has been my chief critic and most devoted helper and cheerleader through the nine times we have moved since our wedding day.  She shares my love for travel and has been my companion as we have explored more of this world than I ever imagined. We have more plans to “see the world” near and far as long as our health and resources last.

My spouse for two-thirds of my life, the mother of our three children and grandmother of our two grandchildren, is one of the most generous persons I know. She loves people and thrives on caring for others. She is a happy person who laughs a lot and loves to dance. She is a talented woman whose creativity is displayed in many ways. As a Master Gardener her flower garden is one of the most visible evidences of her gifts.

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The love of my life is a spiritual person who believes in a loving God and understands that what a person believes should inform and impact how they live and treat others.

She is one of the most authentic persons I know.

I am grateful to God and to Lena for the 48 years of marriage and I look forward to sharing many more years and adventures together, God willing.

Jamie Jenkins

*The most important day of my life??